Sex and the City
I ve been surfing the net for some days now and been reading lots of blogs and good articles. A few minutes ago, I stumbled upon this and this led to me a journey which brought forward some very intresting statistics.
The question is a very fundamental one - of prostitution. Some call it the oldest occupation of mankind. Some people perceive it to be as natural and as acceptable as the fact that human beings wear clothes. But it is one of the most looked-down upon profession as well. Even in the most liberal and advanced of countries like Netherlands where prostitution is legal, there is always a negative connotation attached to it.
Firstly, I will venture forth to gove my opinions on the topic, before I disperse some very strong statistics. I have always been very "open-minded" and have tried to look at things with as little prejudice attached. Hence the idea of selling one's body for money should ideally not create a problem for me. But then i ask myself that do these girls actually want to sell their bodies?? I ve heard of people fascinated by movies and taking up highly exciting jobs, but I do not believe that some 16 year old girl saw Pretty Woman and thinks she will be able to find a Richard Gere.
In my opinion, no 16, 17 or 18 year old girl takes up prostitution as a first choice. It is always a compromise. And it is a BIGG compromise becuase unlike other job options, it is difficult to come back due to the disrespect attached with the profession.
It is OK to have fun with your body and sleep around with a no. of partners. In more liberal societies, this is widely accepted, and it would be very unlikely to find a 25 year old guy/girl in Europe who hasn't slept with at least a dozen different partners. Some of this is just for fun, i.e.,a real one night stand, and both the partners know that beforehand.
Then what is the difference. Say you live in Washington and are on a business trip to Montreal with your colleague who is an attractive married woman of 32. You are alone, desperate, drunk and have been flirting with her some time. You sleep with each other, wake up next morning and forget it. Very little stigma attached. Practically no guilt.
But, on the other hand, if you venture out to the red light district of the city and pay a hundred dollars to satisfy yourself, the guilt stays on for a long time. Most importantly, there is a huge guilt during the very act itself, and one would always feels insecure because the act if illegal.
That is my question. Both the acts are similar.Both involve making conscious choices. Still one is looked down upon as a social taboo while the other , well, it can pass off as 'justifiable' under some circumstances.
I think the reason why prostitution is considered so 'bad' is chiefly because of two factors.
a) The barbaric nature to which it may go.
b) The fact that a prostitute sleeps with multiple partners.
a) It is my opinion that with a prositute, one can do things which one cannot, or would not, do with a regular partner. Many of these acts satisfy the animal instincts of some males, and at times it is justifiable because your regular partner might not allow you to do such things. There can be a dozen fetished or fantasies which one may carry but cannot fulfill. But in general,many of these acts are 'inhuman' by common opinion; and one usually thinks of a prostitute when such things come into the picture.
b) The second reason is more fundamental. It is got to do with the basic human psyche, the concept of family, of not sharing bed partners. Sometimes, I really question fidelity in a relationship and ask myself as to why one cannot accept the fact that one's partner slept with somebody else. This is because commitment lends an undeniable security to the relationship. So, even if one sleeps with a colleague from office, one knows that the colleague is definitely not sleeping with a large no. of partners. A prostitute, on the other hand, is can be seen as a person , who, because of the fact that she sleeps with a large no. of men, can never provide that security. There is no possibility of a relationship, and the association was purely for pleasure for one and money for another.
Hence, the society built upon this rule and classified the prostitutes as 'bad' and 'vulgar' and made it the 'demeaning' profession that it currently is.
I think the second factor is a more important one. Even supporters of prostitution as 'just any other' profession would agree that a prositute cannot provide the security to a guy which comes from one of the many commitments. It is difficult to imagine a whore in love. True, there can be an emotional bonding(which is, ironically, my idea of love), but the requirement of physical fidelity with one partner cannot be maintained. Again, the institution of marriage cannot be applicable here as one of the major requirement for a marriage is that one will not share bed-partners.
I was just thinking of that Rajesh Khanna movie with Sharmila Tagore. My mom always loves this dialogues," Pushpa, tumhe kitni baar kaha hai. I hate tears pushpa i hate tears......" Was it Aradhana?
But is that reason enough to 'demean' prostitution the way it is done right now. I am sure there are thousands of girls doing respectable jobs by the day and leading a stripper's life in the night. They are leading life in a 'normal' manner like anybody else.
I think its just the way our society looks at them. It is ingrained in our religion( Thou shalt not commit adultery) and it has percolated our social fabric so much that prostitution has become a taboo that it is now.
However, there still are a few societies liberal enough to accept that prostitution is a wilful choice. Netherlands, Germany and New Zealand are classic examples. I was told that in Switzerland, parents take their kids(around 8-9 years old) to the red light areas, and tell them that this is one place where they should never come. The curiousity of the kids having been doused at such an early age, very few of them hardly venture out and seek sex when they are grown up.
But again, I doubt if the prostitute in these countries took up that profession as a first choice. But again calling it forced is not correct either. But there have been a no. of cases of forced traffiking with a no. of girls being smuggled from former Soviet Union into affluent European countries. Many of them come there to escape from the poverty-stricken life of their own country, and many of them do get to send money back home for their families. But its all about respect. Even if things change, it is not difficult for these girls to enter the 'mainstream' life.
I look at these girls in much the same way as i look at the Punjabis who go illegaly from the Doaba region of Punjab to Europe and the United States.
Same question again, why should I look down upon prostitutes??
Now, for the statictics:
2. Prostitutes pay tax in Holland and charge VAT from their customers, while in many Muslim countries, the penalty is death penalty.
3. In Brazil and Costa Rica prostitution per se is legal, but taking advantage or profit from others' prostitution is illegal. SAme with many other countries.
4. In Thailand, prostitution is illegal but the country was a hotbed of sex traffic throughout the 90s.
5.In all but two US States, the buying and selling of sexual services is illegal and usually classified as a misdemeanor. Regulated brothels are legal in several counties ofNevada. In Rhode Island, the bare act of sex for money is not illegal, but street solicitation and operating a brothel are.
I think you can find better stastistics on the net....one intersting thing. A UN survey found that the average age for a person in Delhi to lose his/her virginity is 18. I am 20 and I know that most of the 20 year olds I know are virgins. If this survey is correct, then Prostitution must be a blooming trade in Delhi.
In India atleast, I am reasonably sure that prostitution is not a profession of choice. Prostitutes are either duped/forced into the practise, or who take it up because they have been ostracized due to child abuse/rape etc. I can say that because of the 'pitiful working conditions' these girls live in and the kind of treatment the society metes out to them.
I will end with a cartoon which prompted me to think of how the society has sterotypically defined the roles of boys and girls, something which i believe in and accept , but thoroughly disagree with.
The question is a very fundamental one - of prostitution. Some call it the oldest occupation of mankind. Some people perceive it to be as natural and as acceptable as the fact that human beings wear clothes. But it is one of the most looked-down upon profession as well. Even in the most liberal and advanced of countries like Netherlands where prostitution is legal, there is always a negative connotation attached to it.
Firstly, I will venture forth to gove my opinions on the topic, before I disperse some very strong statistics. I have always been very "open-minded" and have tried to look at things with as little prejudice attached. Hence the idea of selling one's body for money should ideally not create a problem for me. But then i ask myself that do these girls actually want to sell their bodies?? I ve heard of people fascinated by movies and taking up highly exciting jobs, but I do not believe that some 16 year old girl saw Pretty Woman and thinks she will be able to find a Richard Gere.
In my opinion, no 16, 17 or 18 year old girl takes up prostitution as a first choice. It is always a compromise. And it is a BIGG compromise becuase unlike other job options, it is difficult to come back due to the disrespect attached with the profession.
It is OK to have fun with your body and sleep around with a no. of partners. In more liberal societies, this is widely accepted, and it would be very unlikely to find a 25 year old guy/girl in Europe who hasn't slept with at least a dozen different partners. Some of this is just for fun, i.e.,a real one night stand, and both the partners know that beforehand.
Then what is the difference. Say you live in Washington and are on a business trip to Montreal with your colleague who is an attractive married woman of 32. You are alone, desperate, drunk and have been flirting with her some time. You sleep with each other, wake up next morning and forget it. Very little stigma attached. Practically no guilt.
But, on the other hand, if you venture out to the red light district of the city and pay a hundred dollars to satisfy yourself, the guilt stays on for a long time. Most importantly, there is a huge guilt during the very act itself, and one would always feels insecure because the act if illegal.
That is my question. Both the acts are similar.Both involve making conscious choices. Still one is looked down upon as a social taboo while the other , well, it can pass off as 'justifiable' under some circumstances.
I think the reason why prostitution is considered so 'bad' is chiefly because of two factors.
a) The barbaric nature to which it may go.
b) The fact that a prostitute sleeps with multiple partners.
a) It is my opinion that with a prositute, one can do things which one cannot, or would not, do with a regular partner. Many of these acts satisfy the animal instincts of some males, and at times it is justifiable because your regular partner might not allow you to do such things. There can be a dozen fetished or fantasies which one may carry but cannot fulfill. But in general,many of these acts are 'inhuman' by common opinion; and one usually thinks of a prostitute when such things come into the picture.
b) The second reason is more fundamental. It is got to do with the basic human psyche, the concept of family, of not sharing bed partners. Sometimes, I really question fidelity in a relationship and ask myself as to why one cannot accept the fact that one's partner slept with somebody else. This is because commitment lends an undeniable security to the relationship. So, even if one sleeps with a colleague from office, one knows that the colleague is definitely not sleeping with a large no. of partners. A prostitute, on the other hand, is can be seen as a person , who, because of the fact that she sleeps with a large no. of men, can never provide that security. There is no possibility of a relationship, and the association was purely for pleasure for one and money for another.
Hence, the society built upon this rule and classified the prostitutes as 'bad' and 'vulgar' and made it the 'demeaning' profession that it currently is.
I think the second factor is a more important one. Even supporters of prostitution as 'just any other' profession would agree that a prositute cannot provide the security to a guy which comes from one of the many commitments. It is difficult to imagine a whore in love. True, there can be an emotional bonding(which is, ironically, my idea of love), but the requirement of physical fidelity with one partner cannot be maintained. Again, the institution of marriage cannot be applicable here as one of the major requirement for a marriage is that one will not share bed-partners.
I was just thinking of that Rajesh Khanna movie with Sharmila Tagore. My mom always loves this dialogues," Pushpa, tumhe kitni baar kaha hai. I hate tears pushpa i hate tears......" Was it Aradhana?
But is that reason enough to 'demean' prostitution the way it is done right now. I am sure there are thousands of girls doing respectable jobs by the day and leading a stripper's life in the night. They are leading life in a 'normal' manner like anybody else.
I think its just the way our society looks at them. It is ingrained in our religion( Thou shalt not commit adultery) and it has percolated our social fabric so much that prostitution has become a taboo that it is now.
However, there still are a few societies liberal enough to accept that prostitution is a wilful choice. Netherlands, Germany and New Zealand are classic examples. I was told that in Switzerland, parents take their kids(around 8-9 years old) to the red light areas, and tell them that this is one place where they should never come. The curiousity of the kids having been doused at such an early age, very few of them hardly venture out and seek sex when they are grown up.
But again, I doubt if the prostitute in these countries took up that profession as a first choice. But again calling it forced is not correct either. But there have been a no. of cases of forced traffiking with a no. of girls being smuggled from former Soviet Union into affluent European countries. Many of them come there to escape from the poverty-stricken life of their own country, and many of them do get to send money back home for their families. But its all about respect. Even if things change, it is not difficult for these girls to enter the 'mainstream' life.
I look at these girls in much the same way as i look at the Punjabis who go illegaly from the Doaba region of Punjab to Europe and the United States.
- They knew that the manner in which they went was illegal.
- They knew that the work they will have to do will not be highly respectful, but the exact nature of the work was not clear to them.
- They were doing it to escape from their poverty-stricken lifestyles.
- They were doing it to help themselves and their families.
Same question again, why should I look down upon prostitutes??
Now, for the statictics:
- Canada legalizes the trafficking of women by giving this little stripper a visa, to have these women face all kinds of indignities in these strip clubs. I think over the last six years they brought in about 2,300 strippers, mostly from Romania and Mexico and the Czech Republic and wherever.
2. Prostitutes pay tax in Holland and charge VAT from their customers, while in many Muslim countries, the penalty is death penalty.
3. In Brazil and Costa Rica prostitution per se is legal, but taking advantage or profit from others' prostitution is illegal. SAme with many other countries.
4. In Thailand, prostitution is illegal but the country was a hotbed of sex traffic throughout the 90s.
5.In all but two US States, the buying and selling of sexual services is illegal and usually classified as a misdemeanor. Regulated brothels are legal in several counties ofNevada. In Rhode Island, the bare act of sex for money is not illegal, but street solicitation and operating a brothel are.
I think you can find better stastistics on the net....one intersting thing. A UN survey found that the average age for a person in Delhi to lose his/her virginity is 18. I am 20 and I know that most of the 20 year olds I know are virgins. If this survey is correct, then Prostitution must be a blooming trade in Delhi.
In India atleast, I am reasonably sure that prostitution is not a profession of choice. Prostitutes are either duped/forced into the practise, or who take it up because they have been ostracized due to child abuse/rape etc. I can say that because of the 'pitiful working conditions' these girls live in and the kind of treatment the society metes out to them.
I will end with a cartoon which prompted me to think of how the society has sterotypically defined the roles of boys and girls, something which i believe in and accept , but thoroughly disagree with.
posted by Sahil @ 12:11 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Great site lots of usefull infomation here.
»
Great article, and I appreciate your thoughts.
The movie referred here (Rajesh Khanna and Sharmila Tagore) was "Amar Prem."
And, I disagree that a prostitute can not provide with a sense of security. I strongly believe that the prostitutes themselves search for a family life. If they are able to find someone, don't you think they will also like to get out of this business and lead a social life just like we all? Being a prostitute does not mean that they will be less committed to their partners (not clients).
The real problem, to me, appears in our outlook. Considering the teenage affairs and the subsequent consequences, I have no doubts in the Delhi statistics.
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