an essay of self determination

I was just wondering as to how one's life can change in a few moments.....in a moment, u r very happy, unaware of the person next to you...but in the next one, that person might be your life partner for all you know

I was just thinking of Saumya, the gal in the AFD batch i studied french with..just remembering he dedication to clear IAS, and how she got Tripura cadre , where she would have to serve for 20 years. Did she ever imagine her life that way? I am sure she never chalked out her life in that manner...

I was just thinking what would I do if put in the same position. I dont know much about administration or how things function in tripura. But i would go there, and make my life. Choices are always made by man himself, and it is man himself who stands up to them......I think my desire to serve this country more than serve myself would help me make that decision easily...

But I would cry too, i would be frustrated too, i would like to throw things out of my house, I would be emotional....but I would return, with a promise for a better future......

Papa is such a good example of that, he finds home in wherever he goes..and he is not ashamed of anything, then why am i ashamed of myself...why do I always try to eb what others want me to be....chhhod de sahil, chhod de, ......sab moh maya hain, set goals for yourself and achieve them, one by one, slowly, slowly......Life will come and go in the blinking of the eye...

Check this cool thing out

This is cool, i picked it up from a blog today

If you haven't been watching television call-in talk shows lately you really should, because it gives you a chance to reassure yourself that a great quantity of people out there are actually much more stupid than you are. Here's how these shows usually go:

HOST: Hi, this is Garret Garrison on the "You Actually Get to Talk on Live Television" show. Today we're talking about President Bush's economic plans. What do you think about his social security reform . . . ? Hello? You're on the air.

CALLER: Hello, Garret?

HOST: Yes, ma'am. What is your opinion about President Bush's economic plan?

CALLER: Garret? Is this really you? Am I really on the air?

HOST: You're on the air, go ahead.

CALLER: Garret? I'm on the air?

HOST: Yes indeed. Go ahead.

CALLER: I'm so nervous.

HOST: Don't be nervous. Just talk. Right now. . .. Speak.

CALLER: Well, I just wanted to tell you what happened to my husband. He was outside fixin' the garden for spring. You know, clippin' the rosebushes and such. Well, he snipped off his right index finger with a clipper that we recently bought at Home Depot -- can I say Home Depot on the air? -- well, let's just say he forget that he was clippin' --

HOST: I certainly hear what you're saying. We're so sorry to hear about that, Miss. What is your opinion about President Bush's economic plans for social security?

CALLER: Well, his finger was bleedin' a whole lot, but my sister. . .she was a nurse in the ER for years, she fixed him up good. She --

HOST: Thank you for your views. We'll take the next caller now.

CALLER #2: Hello?

HOST: Hello sir. You're on the "You Actually Get to Talk on Live Television" show. What is your opinion about President Bush's Social Security plan?

CALLER #2: Well, it sucks. I'm only 19 and I can't even imagine what it's gonna be like for me when I retire. Like, I only have $35 dollars in the bank. How'mun I gonna retire on that?

HOST: Are you worried about Social Security for your generation?

CALLER #2: Hell yeah! I don't know what I'm gonna do. There ain't no jobs here in Flint Michigain . . did you know that General Motors was born here? That company OWES us somethin. We DESERVE to be treated fairly by the companies of the United States of Amer--

HOST: Thank you, sir. This is Garret Garrison, and we'll be right back after these messages. Here's a word from our sponsors . . .

Of more answers and less questions

finally i seem to be reaching a stage where i have more answers and the no of questions r constant........

U ll say its a guud thing, right?? SO , i m a lil relieved now, amnt I?? Well i wish that cud be true....but what if the answers r bitter, that they r just rubbbing salt in an already raw wound, that everything's that happening around me now is just a minor effort to hide it, to keep myself happy, to put my life into sum kind of gear, to hide that guilt, that remorse, that feeling of self-contempt and self-loathing...that neve decreasing love n respect for her.......

Neways, i called up anshu didi yesterday n talked with her for like 15 mins, with alok too....they r happy, bcoz they r together, they r happy bcoz together they have nowhere else to g or nobody else to blame, bcoz together they r one person, one soul, bcoz together they dont have to worry about individual ambitions, succes, failure, society, expectations, .......;nothing at all.......together they r life partners, n no, thay do not walk for each other, they walk with each other....

Last couple of days has seen many futchas buzzing me n asking for their opinions about exchange prog thing....I am amazed by how frank i ve been with them..how frank about myself, n all the time i tell them i dont wanna let them be like bhavan or punita, but from inside i know i dont neone to be like me....

Love is such a sacred thing, and only those deprived of it realise it....the sacredness of luv, teh divinity iof frndship, the tender love of a sister, the care n never dying affection of parents, i feel like i ve realised all of it just now.....

DO i sound like a homesick person?? Maybe i am?, Today i didnt do great things, n feel like i ve wasted my day here...;its on days like these that i feel that i shudnt be here, but in the comfort of my home, laughing with frnds, sharing things with sumbody close or sleeping, just sleeping...

reminds me, i gotta sleep